Our phraseology - key to healing

As many of you know, I have been immersed in writing my upcoming book on grief, diving deep into how loss affects every aspect of our life and how it shows up in the body.

One of my clients was commenting today, how she hadn’t realised quite how much our body keeps score of our life experiences and our emotions especially, and how our phraseology reflects this.

For example we have certain phrases with encapsulate the gravity and physical burdens which describe an emotional shift such as “A weight lifted off my shoulders”, “ a load off my mind”, “breathing a sigh of relief”, and “feeling light as a feather”.

Interestingly people do use these phrases after they have been for Reiki, especially if they talk and share whatever has been bothering them. We underestimate the benefit in sharing our problems with others, it really can make all the difference.

Negative emotions heavily impact our autonomic nervous system, causing very real physical sensations in the chest, throat, and stomach and we use certain phrases to describe this such as “a heavy heart”, when we feel a deep sadness, mourning, or grief that feels like a physical pressure in the chest. “A lump in my throat”, to describe the tight, aching sensation in the throat when trying to hold back tears.

We might use “sick to my stomach”, which describes intense dread, anxiety, or disgust that triggers physical nausea. Or “a pit in my stomach”, to describe a hollow, dropping sensation caused by fear, worry, or anticipation of bad news.

We also might use “heartbroken” or “heart-wrenching” to describe an emotional pain so sharp it feels like literal physical damage to the chest.

There are more too. When "fight or flight" response kicks in, the body reacts instantly, leading to metaphors about temperature and muscular tension such as “my blood ran cold”, “spine-chilling”, “hot under the collar”, “making my blood boil” and “biting my tongue”.

There are reasons that we use these phrases:

The Mind-Body Connection: These aren't just poetic phrases. When you experience grief, your body actually releases stress hormones like cortisol, which can increase blood pressure, tighten chest muscles, and alter your heart rate—literally making your chest feel "heavy."

Abstract vs. Concrete: Emotions are abstract concepts that are hard to see or touch. By linking them to physical sensations (like weight, temperature, or pain), we make our internal world easier for other people to understand.

Writing my book about grief has reminds me how words often aren't enough to heal pain. If your heart feels heavy, tired, or constricted lately, then don’t discount Reiki. A Reiki treatments gives your body a safe, quiet space to lay that weight down.

This is one of the many reasons I love channelling Reiki to people. Not least because it is a beautifully quiet, nurturing and loving environment to spend my time, surrounded by crystals and singing bowls, but because it gifts people the space to let the body let go of what it no longer needs to hold, releasing emotions and lightening the load.

Some of you have asked me if writing a book about grief drains me. Truly, it does the opposite—it expands my capacity to hold space for others. What I have noticed since writing this book is the number of people who have come to see me suffering with grief and loss. When we experience something significant in our life, then it provides us with the insight to support others navigating something similar.

What I have also noticed though, is that when we have healed whatever wounding is most pertinent to us in that moment, we then move on to a different theme. In the past I used to attract lots of people navigating depression, for example, and later, IVF. But as I have healed the woundings from both experiences, so has my client base and healing emphasis shifted.

This is one of the joys of practising Reiki and working in the healing field, that we cannot help but be supported in our healing too - at least if we are open to it.

So if you have a pain in your body, pay attention. What is your body trying to tell you?

For those of you navigating a transition, a loss, or just a heavy season of life, do consider coming for Reiki. You don’t have to explain your pain; just come as you are and let your load be lightened.

Love Emma x