Exhale on the new moon

A new moon is upon us and life feels different.

I have finished the first edit draft of my new book, Oceans of Grief, and it awaits professional editing. It feels like a true ending. As many of you know, the last ten months have been heavy as I have deep dived into all the grief of my life not yet processed, initiated by Em’s passing on 8th December, ten months ago yesterday - it seems poignant now I reflect that I finish the book on the 8th.

I know I have written this before, but being touched by her essence really has changed things, but a lot had to be let go of before I can find my new way. This is what the soul demands and I have had to get my mind cleansed and out of the way, to let go of limiting beliefs, old thinking habits and patterns and ways of seeing/being.

I am ready now for the new, and am making changes at Beinspired to reflect this too. Since setting up Beinspired in 2006, it has been a container for my ongoing learning and what I might term transformation. It demands a lot of me at times. And yet has been such a wise teacher, in asking me to keep letting go and allowing change, not easy, I have the kapha energy in me, which doesn’t always do change easily.

I am wired off this new moon energy coming in, it feels like it is supporting this autumnal emergence, and I am delighted to be initiating four beautiful and courageous students to Reiki Master on the new moon itself, highlighting that it is time now to step up and shine. No more playing it small, but an opportunity to truly own all that we are and all that we are becoming, as one moment shifts to the next. It doesn’t serve us to stay stuck or constricted by false beliefs and the limited and self-depreciating stories we tell ourselves.

I always felt that the eclipse in August was a water shed moment and I am now seeing this playing out. It was a defining moment where we were gifted a choice - go deeper to soul and spirit, clear the crap, or turn away, pretend it’s all ok and turn to material instead.

I have learned an awful lot these last ten months, especially about the mind and the way it dresses itself up as spirit. We have to be so careful of its tricky ways, and the manner in which it convinces us of the path we should follow to stay safe. Yet safe lacks a certain aliveness that comes when we dance with an edge, where we let go of the mind and its analytical and questioning ways and truly honour the heart and soul which wants - needs - to dance us to this edge.

This is how we evolve. This is how we grow. This is how we experience the magic and mystery in life, which most have forgotten. There is another way to be beyond the one we have to be taught to see, and spiritual practice helps us access this, as does being with nature - which spiritual practice encourages, as it re-connects us with our own nature and the oneness that pervades this cosmos.

But for some it is too much. What the heart and soul demand is too painful for many to do the work. And I do understand this. I know I am not the only one who tires at times of the challenges, but for me there is no choice. I’m in this for the long time, spiritual growth cannot be rushed, it cannot be packaged, it demands that we literally practice and that is the path my heart and soul has demanded this life time.

I am grateful to all of you who are walking this path with me. They say we incarnate with the same souls repeatedly and I do believe this to be true, there is a reason we are drawn in and out of each other’s lives, not least for the lessons we learn and our evolution, but for the karma that must be repaid - the , ‘reason, season, lifetime’ is relevant here.

I have been walking up and down Saints Valley for ten months almost daily when on the island and watched nature’s changes. I almost cried and then cheered on Wednesday when I visited, later afternoon which is unusual of me, and discovered that nature had been shredded at the sides of the roads, without care or awareness of the death and destruction caused, and yet amongst all that one lonely lesser burdock stood brown and wizening, allowed to complete its growth cycle, the only one escaping the strimmer.

I have watched these lesser burdock avidly the whole season, witnessed the growth of their incredibly large leaves, and those who survived the June trimming, blossomed beautiful purple-pink thistle flowers, and on as they started dying back, and only last week a group of them brown and crisping. They’re all gone now, shredded, apart from this one survivor, standing proud, able to complete its life cycle and able to decompose over the winter months ahead, adding nutrients to the soil. It felt poignant.

I so wish we’d leave nature alone.

I so wish we’d allow more of our own nature, perhaps then there wouldn’t be so much suffering in this world.

So here’s to the change that the moon has been gifting as it wanes this cycle and begins anew tomorrow. I saw a dragonfly on my walk up Saints Hill yesterday and took it as a sign. I saw lots of them this late summer, not least a sign of transformation, but those parted souls making themselves known to us in other form.

Yesterday’s dragonfly made me smile, because I knew, deep inside.

I hope you too are feeling its transformative energy and are shining brighter because of it, filling the darkness that the moon’s absence brings on this dark moon today.

And yet I know some of you are feeling a tiredness that is at times overwhelming and I feel this might be the tiredness that comes with holding on, of trying to stay in control. I have witnessed how it can kill us this buying into the illusion of control, through fear of letting go and surrendering to the divine which holds us still. Sometimes we just need to let go and trust that spirit knows what is best for us - because it really does. Our humans, lovely as it is, gets in the way and will literally lead us to death.

I feel I can exhale now. Time for change - if you’re reading this then I invite you to join me, as we dance a new edge, one of magic and mystery and soulful and sacred connection.

I hope to see you in sacred space soon.

Love Emma x