Not wrong!

One of the themes that popped up for clearing during the last few months of grief processing was the conditioning around “getting it wrong”.

This conditioning lays deeply inside many of us, especially if we were taught to be good girls, achievers, striving for the unobtainable notion of perfection, always meant to be getting it right.

Until it doesn’t quite work out that way and then we think we’ve gotten it wrong.

Which makes it difficult to make a decision without over thinking it, in case we get it ‘wrong’ again.

Which puts us into fear.

Which means our mind gets even more concerned about getting it right.

Which means we over-think and over-analyse our choices.

Which means we can go around in circles in our head, or become paralysed, stuck, because of our fear and therefore not making a choice, because this is easier, safer, than making a choice and getting it wrong.

But being stuck gets uncomfortable after a time.

And around we go again.

Forgetting that there is no right or wrong, just choices made for a myriad of reasons in any moment.

Because the thing is, our choices are not as conscious as we may believe. They are driven not just by our life experiences to date, but by our previous lives too, and whatever sits in our unconscious, let alone the unseen forces at work.

We make the choices we make because we make the choices we make.

Just because life throws challenges our way, doesn’t mean we made wrong choices.

Sometimes the ‘wrong’ leads us to the most rich and fruitful periods of our life. But usually these times demand that initially we dissolve some aspect of ourselves, some false belief and unhelpful conditioning, that led us to believe we got it wrong in the first place.

Life happens. We cannot control it.

Sometimes it’s best just to accept this and flow with it.

There is no perfect. Yet it’s hard letting this go sometimes.

It’s hard accepting our humanness and that life happens not as we might dream or imagine, but as our soul demands.

The dissolving can take time, and it can be discombobulating, because we are letting go and don’t yet know what the ‘new’ holds for us instead.

But this will come.

Not because we make it so, but because something else starts to reveal itself.

And then we begin again.

Not wrong, not right, just a nudge and an opening in a different direction.

All we need to do is flow and let go of the fear that keeps us stuck in more of the same.

Love Emma x