Tips for getting intimate with your menstrual cycle
Here are some of my tips for getting intimate with your menstrual cycle and your flow:
Notice the moon cycle. Get outside and see where she is in the night sky and how your own cycle relates to her cycle – do you ovulate on the full moon when she too is at her juiciest? Do you bleed when she is new, so that you share a dark night together, the night before your period and her before she turns new? The more you notice the moon, the more your cycle will align with hers. But please do note that not every lady’s cycle is 29.5 days, so you might not always be in tune with her to the extent that you bless/ovulate on a new/full moon.
Journaling is a really helpful way to connect with your cycle, writing down how you feel each day and noticing the differences throughout the month and the commonalities from month to month too.
Notice changes in secretion and discharge throughout your cycle, especially if you are trying to conceive, so that you will have a better understanding of the time of ovulation and the discharge that this brings with it (like egg white!).
Notice how you are drawn to different activities throughout the month, sometimes needing to rest, sometimes needing to be active, sometimes needing to be creative, other times needing to be quiet and retreat away from the world. Honour these, it is important that you recognise your cyclical nature as a woman and do not deny this in the quest to fit into a linear and masculine world.
Notice how you crave different foodstuffs at different timed of the month, and honour this, you might well crave sweeter foods prior to your bleed, chocolate especially, go with it, it might be just what you need!
Start to notice how you are likely to feel tender and vulnerable just after your bleed, becoming more positive and outgoing towards ovulation, before your energy begins to wane and you feel to retreat as you near your bleed and how the dark days prior to your bleed while often desperately uncomfortable can be extremely insightful and allow you to access deeper parts of yourself than you may have realised previously, such as visions and inner knowing. If you are truly honest with yourself at this time, you will notice what needs to change in your life.
Pay attention to the messages your body is giving you throughout the cycle, notice any pain and tension that arises as this is your body trying to highlight that something is out of balance, that you are holding onto some inner tension, emotional or otherwise, suppressing some aspect of you that is desperate for expression.
If you suffer with PMS as I did, then absolutely pay attention, especially in the dark days just prior to your bleed. Notice thoughts and dreams that arise during this latter stage of your cycle when your symptoms are at their worst. Notice any old feelings of shame and resentment, of anger and irritation. Do your best to release old emotions through various healing modalities such as SHEN or Reiki at this time, and slow and mindful yoga can help too.
When you are bleed perhaps wear something red, so that you come to recognise and ritualise this time of your monthly cycle and be proud of it rather than shamed by it. Each bleed brings with it the opportunity for a deep release, for letting go and endings, before you begin your next cycle and allow more of the new into your life. This is the reason it can be helpful to undertake healing work and any kind of journeying towards the end of your cycle, or on the dark moon of the moon cycle – ideal if the two align!
It’s a step too far for most but when you are bleeding, take yourself outside into a hidden place within your garden, where no one else can see you, even better if you can do it at night under the glow of the moon if she is in the night’s sky, and bleed directly onto the earth. I know for some it sounds absolutely gross, but there is a deep grounding, intimate and empowering that comes from this act of bleeding back to the earth, she who nourishes you and connects you to all life. Don’t tell anyone, just make it a ceremonial act between you, mother earth and the moon.
Avoid tampons and anything which prevents your flow, or collects blood and holds it stagnant inside you. Allow the flow. Use recyclable pads if you can
Cultivate a feeling of thankfulness towards your cycle, of allowing more of your deep wisdom, intuition and inner knowing. We women are cyclical in nature and should celebrate that, we are not linear, nor should we attempt to live our lives in a linear and masculine fashion. Embrace the twists and turns, the ups and downs, the tears and the laughter, embrace it all, and enjoy being more of who you truly are beyond the limitations of our culture, which attempts to shame menstruation and the emotional and cyclical nature of life lived as a woman.
Let your emotions come and go, don’t try to supress them because whatever is repressed will find a way to express itself and this will show up in your menstrual cycle one way or another through pain or other irregularities. Cry, let the tears flow and cleanse and calm you and clear you out for the new. Don’t be ashamed of your emotional vulnerability, don’t be ashamed of menstruation and talking about it, don’t be ashamed of being a woman.
Visit a site of ancient worship to the goddess, the mother. Here in Guernsey we are very blessed to have two notable ancient goddesses available to us, one outside St Martin’s church and another outside Castel church. Churches were frequently built on sites of ancient ceremony and worship, often to the goddess who was revered before patriarchy arrived into our world. Go visit a goddess, touch her, talk to her, invoke her energy into your life. You might invest in a goddess you can keep in your spiritual space (if you have one), you can buy them online from the Goddess Temple in Glastonbury (https://goddesstemplegifts.co.uk).
Listen to my free videos and audios on mental health and wellbeing, available from my website at www.beinspiredby.co.uk.
There are lots of books you can read, I recommend Code Red by Lisa Lister, Yoni Shakti by Dr Uma Dinsmore-Tuli, Women’s Bodies: Women’s Wisdom by Dr Christiane Northrup and Wild Power by Alexandra Pope. If you are trying to conceive then I highly recommend my own book Dancing with the Moon.