Tārā as the guiding star: the menstrual cycle

This week’s Mahāvidyā, is Tārā. She is the great wisdom goddess, whose name literally means ‘star’. She is the protectress of navigation and earthly travel, as well as spiritual travel along the path to evolution, and fulfilment and enlightenment, offering the liberating grace of divine transcendence.

In this way, Tārā is a beautifully light-fuelled reminder of the ultimate direction and meaning of all our lives, as we are each our own embodied star, containing within us the wisdom to know the direction of our path, and of our time here on Planet Earth, a beacon upon ourselves 

In the Buddhist tradition, there are a number of different forms of Tārā although her most recognised quality is that of beneficence and compassion. She is by far the most popular and greatest deity within Tibetan tantric Buddhism, worshipped throughout Nepal, Tibet and South-East Asia, and recognised as the ‘mother’, related to the very earliest worship of our Mother God.

However from a Hindu Tantric perspective, Tārā has a fierceness and capacity for violence which is similar to Kālī. She is one of the ten Mahāvidyās, which translates into English as one of the great revelations or manifestation. In Tantrism, there is the idea that the Divine Feminine is the supreme cosmic force in the universe equivalent to Brahman.  

An important aspect from the Mahāvidyā perspective is that Devi or the Great Goddess, has a tendency to manifest herself in a variety of forms so as to protect cosmic stability. The ten Mahāvidyās represent a common way of expressing the idea that goddesses can take many different forms. 

The common theme underpinning all this, is a recognition that our perceived world of dualities – male/female, pure/impure, sun/moon, good/evil, microcosm/macrocosm etc is a false one. For seekers, to know true reality is to reach a state of being where all opposites unite. 

As you may know from an earlier blog post, Kālī personifies the highest reality and ultimate truth. Blue as the sky, and equally all encompassing, to the seeker, the terrible Kālī is also the benevolent mother, the destroyer of false notions and beliefs and the primordial power that moves the universe. All the other deities arise and dissolve in her. 

Among the other mahāvidyās, none is as close to Kālī in spirit and appearance as Tārā. Second only in importance to Kālī in her importance, but like Kālī she carries deadly weapons and stands triumphantly upon the dead body of Śiva. As Dr Uma Dinsmore-Tuli writes, “Tārā has a paler complexion, but she is every bit as fierce. I understand this fierceness to be a strong compassion, a love that has the capacity to bestow deep liberation”.

The siddhi (magical power) that Uma associates with Tārā is “of trust in change as a way to be carried through difficulty”. The root syllable of Tārā’s name, tr, means to take across, and the feeling of her power is that it can carry us over and through challenge, but only if we give ourselves up to it. This is the central revelation of the siddhi of menstrual cycle awareness: that if we honour and respect the forces of change that work within us through the menstrual cycle, then what we learn about this cycle carries us through the challenges of all other cycles of change. Meeting the challenges of our experience of the menstrual cycle supports our capacity to embrace change in all other dimensions of our lives. 

Tārā’s siddhi has the capacity to carry us through the mire and confusion of suffering and difficulty to reach the solid ground of wisdom and knowledge. Tārā is also, like Kālī, a great goddess of transformation. She is the first transformation of Kālī, the primary manifestation of the force of change at work. The notion of transformation is central to the spiritualised understanding of the power of the menstrual cycle: for it is through an acceptance and understanding of the rhythms of the our own monthly cycle that we are able to accept the transformative wisdom which each of these experiences has to offer us. 

If, however, we do not take the opportunity (or are denied the awareness that makes such acceptance  and intimate knowledge possible), then the great gift of cyclical knowledge and its capacity to transform us becomes a curse. Without the siddhi of understanding and acceptance which Tārā offers us, then the greatest female siddhi of them all becomes nothing but a heavy burden. For to encounter menstrual cycles without awareness of the capacity for deep wisdom that resides within them becomes an experience of difficulty and challenge that seems to have no point, a focus of resentment, annoyance, embarrassment and shame.”

It’s in this way that we can use conscious menstruation as a spiritual practice, understanding more of the siddhi of transformation that Tārā can bring. I have been experiencing this for myself for a number of years now. It wasn’t that I was unaware of my menstrual cycle prior to this, in many respects it was my menstrual cycle and PMS that played a central role in bringing me to yoga and waking me up, but that I hadn’t worked with it as a potential practice for spiritual liberation and opportunity to access deeper wisdom. 

My menstrual cycle used to be a source of much suffering and misery. Over the first two weeks of my cycle, the follicular stage, during the time between menses and ovulation I would feel great, have lots of energy and feel relatively confident and enthusiastic about life. But then the luteal phase would arrive from post-ovulation to menses and it would be like a light switch being turned off, all of a sudden I would be flung into the darkness of depression, and lose interest and enthusiasm in life.

The closer towards menses the worse I would feel; not only depressed but also anxious, sensitive to criticism, very critical about everything, especially myself, irrationally angry, ‘flying off the handle’ at the smallest things, weepy, bloated and completely uncomfortable in my own skin. It was a really horrible experience that made me loathe the menstrual cycle and its resulting PMS (as my experience was later diagnosed). 

It was the depression that brought me to yoga and this took me to Carol Champion, a Guernsey-based nutritionist who helped me to work out the link between the intensity of the depression and my menstrual cycle, a symptom of PMS. While Carol helped me enormously, my ongoing fascination with PMS and my quest to ‘rid myself of it’ took me to Ayurveda and this took me to Uma and onto Code Red by Lisa Lister, and I haven’t looked back since.

What I didn’t know back then, was that our menstrual cycle helps us to know more of the truth of ourselves. As Dr Christiane Northrup writes, “The menstrual cycle is the most basic, earthy cycle we have. Our blood is our connection to the archetypal feminine. The macrocosmic cycles of nature, the waxing and waning, the ebb and flow of the tides and the changes of the seasons, are reflected on a smaller scale in the menstrual cycle of the individual female body. The monthly ripening of an egg and subsequent pregnancy or release of menstrual blood mirror the process of creation as it occurs not only in nature, unconsciously, but in human endeavor. In many cultures, the menstrual cycle has been viewed as sacred.”

Our menstrual cycle can show us when we are living out of alignment with our truth. Me not feeling comfortable within my own skin those last two weeks of my cycle was indicative of my life at that time. I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin generally because I was living a life that didn’t fit. I was working in a job I hated, I was in denial of an eating disorder, I was smoking cannabis and endless cigarettes and I was drinking far too much wine and giving myself a bloody hard time about all of it, leaving me feeling depressed, anxious and full of hatred for self.

Then yoga came along, quickly followed by healthy eating and Reiki and life changed as I changed my relationship with myself and vice versa.  The bouts of depression eased as I discovered more of my heart and started listening as my soul was also allowed expression. The symptoms of PMS eased too, but I kept overlooking the cyclical nature of what it means to be a women and I was constantly trying to ‘heal’ and ‘fix’ the second half of my cycle, because it made me feel ‘darker and edgier’ than the first half.

It wasn’t until much later when I discovered menstruation consciousness as a spiritual practice that I realised that the different stages of the menstrual cycle are not meant to be the same!   We women are cyclical in nature, like the moon, we have our own waxing and waning, and the more I connected with the moon, the more I connected with my menstrual cycle and the waxing and waning journey it took me on.

I stopped trying to ‘fix’ my cycle and learned to listen to it instead, to be with it, and appreciate the wisdom it was imparting, the manner in which it was highlighting where I was out of alignment with my truth, or where I was living my life out of balance, selling out on myself, stepping too much into my masculine energy again, doing too much, being too much of, well, everything and overlooking the subtleties of other ways of being, or other interests and passions awaiting discovery if only I might get out of my own way!

This wasn’t to deny then the full range of emotions that I might feel during my cycle, the last two weeks especially, but to better understand, interpret and absolutely allow them. This has been key. Whereas once I turned away from the emotional intensity of the last week of my cycle particularly, now I turn into it, because I know that it is potentially the most informative and transformative moment of the entire cycle. 

As Dr Christiance Northrup writes: “Since our culture generally appreciates only what we can understand rationally, many women tend to block at every opportunity the flow of unconscious “lunar” information that comes to them premenstrually or during their menstrual cycle. Lunar information is reflective and intuitive. It comes to us in our dreams, our emotions, and our hungers. It comes under cover of darkness.

When we routinely block the information that is coming to us in the second half of our menstrual cycles, it has no choice but to come back as PMS or menopausal madness, in the same way that our other feelings and bodily symptoms, if ignored, often result in illness.

The luteal phase, from ovulation until the onset of menstruation, is when women are most in tune with their inner knowing and with what isn’t working in their lives.

Studies have shown that women’s dreams are more frequent and often more vivid during the premenstrual and menstrual phases of their cycles. Premenstrually, the “veil” between the worlds of the seen and unseen, the conscious and the unconscious, is much thinner.

We have access to parts of our often unconscious selves that are less available to us at all other times of the month. In fact, it has been shown experimentally that the right hemisphere of the brain—the part associated with intuitive knowing—becomes more active premenstrually, while the left hemisphere becomes less active.

Interestingly enough, communication between the two hemispheres may be increased as well. The premenstrual phase is therefore a time when we have greater access to our magic—our ability to recognize and transform the more difficult and painful areas of our lives.

Premenstrually, we are quite naturally more in tune with what is most meaningful in our lives. We’re more apt to cry—but our tears are always related to something that holds meaning for us. Years of personal and clinical experience have taught me that the painful or uncomfortable issues that arise premenstrually are always real and must be addressed.

I pay attention in this later stage of my cycle. I notice how I have a rush of energy five days or so before menses, like I did the day before my contractions started for my youngest son (my first born was birthed by Caesarean Section prior to contraction due to full grade placenta previa), as if allowing me to tidy up things. Then I notice how my energy wanes, as if it has been sucked from me, so that I do not feel to rush around and instead there is a pull to retreat from the world as I also become more critical of the state of the world I find myself living in.

This is not necessarily an easy time for my partner because I become more critical of everything and my tendencies towards cleanliness of my immediate environment become more pronounced. Fortunately I’m rarely critical to the self anymore and the anger to self has dropped away. The fire inside me still burns strongly in me though at this time, lots of pitta, resulting in less tolerance, less patience and I am more likely to snap far quicker than I might do ordinarily – I might have a ‘sharper’ tongue too, and my temperature rises, resulting in a more unsettled night’s sleep and looser stools. 

I also become more opinionated and vocal about issues close to my heart. I feel much more creative too and tend to experience an overwhelming need to write. I can write prolifically during this time too, I’m on my second blog post of the day during this time, for example, having already edited a bit of my book – the enhanced critical eye and pickiness has its benefits as I can edit much more easily, I’m more certain, less wishy washy, it’s a good time for decisions, the words come flow more easily (at least if I am in the zone – my cycle will tell me if I am not!). 

In many respects my passion and my fierceness, and the fieriness that underpins this, reminiscent of Tārā and her fierceness, which Uma explains as a strong compassion, a love that sets us free, defines this period of my cycle. Don’t mess with me! I might feel increasingly vulnerable, to the extent that I might rather not have to stand in front of students and teach yoga or Reiki if I have the choice, but I will stand up for what I believe in, and this from a place of compassion and love. 

I surprise myself sometimes, because I don’t realise until that time the extent to which I feel passionate about something, such as women’s rights to birth with a partner of choice as revealed itself to me this latter part of cycle, and women’s relationship to menstruation and the need for more women to recognise that menstruation consciousness can be used as a for of spiritual practice, rather than feared through shame, embarrassment or any of the myriad of negative conditioning that we have absorbed from society. 

But this is the thing about this stage of our cycle. The more we pay attention, the more we come to know what really makes us who we are, and where we need to be placing our energy and what needs expression and/or healing. The dark moon day, the day before menses, this is a gift, as if the veil between the worlds is lifted, there is always some insight we may receive,  transformative potential if we can interpret it, and perhaps it doesn’t matter if we can’t, because it will likely unfold anyway, once we have started to become more open and receptive to it, friendlier then. Pay attention!

Notice the moon cycle too and how aligned or out of aligned your cycle is with this. Everyone’s cycle will have a different duration, those like me who are more pitta orientated will have a more regular cycle that lasts 28-29 days, but someone who is more vata orientated will likely experience an irregular cycle and those kapha orientated will have a slightly longer cycle. It’s the same with bleeding, depending on Ayurvedic constitution, the consistency and length of menses will be different, light and short for vata, initially heavy then lighter, 5 days for pitta and heavier 5-7 days for kapha. You’ll be more prone to weepiness and emotional outbursts if vata, anger and aggressiveness if pitta and lethargy and sleepiness if kapha.

Each phase of the menstrual cycle has a different Ayurvedic quality to it too. The vata phase lasts from approximately day 1-5 (from the first day of bleeding). The kapha phase lasts from the end of bleeding until ovulation (approx. days 5-14) The pitta phase lasts from ovulation until your period starts (days 14-18). This can really help you to understand your dosha, your fault, as you notice how each phase of the cycle affects you from an Ayurvedic perspective. If your pitta is out of balance, as mine was, for example, then you’ll feel excess fire, anger and aggressiveness in the pre-menstrual stage.

When I was paying particular attention to my menstrual cycle in preparation for IVF, I was absolutely delighted when my ovulation (albeit medically created through the use of IVF drugs) coincided with the full moon, and we conceived both our boys from this full moon cycle. There is a natural affinity between the ‘full moon’ and the ‘fullness’ of eggs at ovulation. Studies suggest that more women ovulate at the full moon than they do at the new moon as if proving the relationship between the menstrual cycle and the moon - so important to know this kind of stuff if you are trying to conceive. Even though my cycle is not the 29.5 days of the moon cycle, I tend to bleed on the new moon. I know that I need to pay extra attention if this alignment shifts dramatically.

I could write extensively about the menstrual cycle as you can probably tell, how studies have found that women who work in strip bars and at trucking stops get given more tips when they are ovulating, as our bodies secrete pheromones into the air that increase our sexual attractiveness to others, and how our ‘ripeness’ make us feel more attractive and contented within ourselves and therefore more attractive to others. 

I could also write about the impact of fear and ignorance on our menstrual cycles and this siddhi. How women will willingly spend decades of their lives taking synthetic contraceptive pills or using other contraceptive implants that not only reduce their sexual response but can cause long-term health problems (think  migraine, breast cancer, susceptibility to stroke, bone density loss etc.) not to mention compromising natural fertility (many realise too late). As Uma says, “these are all desperate choices born out of fears that there are no other options”.

The point is though, that without awareness of the menstrual cycle we run the risk of dismissing the great siddhi that Tārā has to offer us. Tārā is an inspiration and our guide on the complex path of spiritual freedom. One of her cosmic attributes is to  save us or free us from the different troubles we have to face in life. She doesn’t help us to destroy these obstacles but to sublimate them and successfully overcome them, gaining greater wisdom in the process. 

In other words, Tārā helps us transcend all the inferior and ignoble aspects of our life, helping us to connect with higher aspects of self and live from this elevated perspective. In the process we are not only saved from imminent danger, of lower energies and lives that don’t fit, but she also offers us the possibility of accessing elevated and more aligned levels of spirituality. Furthermore, as the greatest obstacle to overcome is our mind itself, Tārā helps us go beyond the fluctuations and limitations of this, so that we may see ourselves and life more clearly. 

As Uma writes, “Thankfully, many women now are lifting ‘the curse’ and embracing conscious menstrual experience as a route to a spiritual wisdom that liberates feminine experience from the limitations of patriarchal cultural expectations. We can use the practice of womb yoga [or Yoni Yoga!] to address ancestral repetitions of suffering and shame around menstruation, and we can use breath, movement and awareness practice to embrace the flow if the blees, to alleviate the physical and emotional pain and suffering that may be associatedwith our experience of menstruation”. She’s right! There’s no turning back once you begin,  the path, the star, becomes brighter and we transform into more than we could ever imagine!

*If you are curious to learn more, then I highly recommend reading Code Red, by Lisa Lister, Yoni Shakti by Dr Uma Dinsmore-Tuli and Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Dr Christiane Northrup. Also the work of Alexandra Pope and the Red School is valued by others.