Shifting perspectives; feminine energy

Something happened towards the end of last year (2018) that was very strange. I couldn’t for the life of me come up with my usual list of dreams and intentions for the new year (2019). 

This threw me into a bit of a spin because for as long as yoga and Reiki have been in my life, I have spent each new year writing out my list, before proceeding to put an enormous amount of effort into trying to make things happen, of trying to manifest my dreams. 

Admittedly the dreams have come true over the years – finally the boyfriend rocked up into my life, finally the children arrived and finally the books were written and published, but this had all taken a lot of effort and energy (and often masculine energy at that). 

But something felt different now. 

Initially, I also found myself questioning whether something was wrong with me.  Was I lacking clarity? Had I lost my direction? Was I no longer ambitious? Was I limiting myself on some level? Did I no longer have dreams? But the truth is, I still had dreams, but the idea of manifesting them simply wasn’t consuming me as they had done previously.

I decided to sit with it, just let it be. 

A couple of moon cycles passed and still I lacked the enthusiasm or interest in any new moon wishes or full moon magic and my old vision board looked on, now a couple of years out of date. It was a really uncomfortable feeling to wonder what had changed, but not yet being able to make sense of it.

Then the March equinox arrived and it suddenly became much clearer to me. On social media especially, there was this sense of urgency, of needing to tap into the equinox energy to make things happen, and yet all I saw was a lot of pushing and forcing. 

There were others going on and on about manifesting and taking their power back, and yet all I could see was them manifesting yet more ego and ego and ego (this is when someone pointed out to me that CEO might easily translate as Chief Ego Officer…).

At the same time, I could no longer ignore the fact that while many women are promoting the divine feminine and the need to honour the feminine energy, they are still living their own lives from a masculine perspective, yet more striving, pushing and yang energy.

 This coincided with me experiencing for the first time the Scaravelli-inspired approach to yoga, which those of you who have read my recent newsletter will know, has totally turned my world upside down. 

This approach to yoga has thrown all I have learned over the years on its head. Totally turned everything upside down and around again, which has been both confusing and enlightening – the paradox of the Scaravelli approach. 

This is an approach to yoga that is subtle and cannot be clearly described or delineated. There are no rules, no right or no wrong, only attention and sensitivity, honouring the body’s natural intelligence and resting into the earth with gravity, perhaps revealing the magical connections between lightness and rest. 

I had a sense that this is how life is perhaps best lived and that our dreams will come true regardless of the energy that we put into them. That it is about the feminine and flowing and intuition and listening, and continuously aligning with the heart and the soul, which is always guiding.

This is a whole new way of being that at first is confronting because it demands a lot of trust in self, and because the ego is not being asked to control anything and the ego likes to control. But this in itself becomes increasingly liberating. Not to say that it is easy, because the energy is very different and it takes some adjusting especially, if like me, you’ve settled more easily into the masculine previously. 

I might be off kilter, but I do feel that the soul has already written what it is here to live and experience in this lifetime, and it is our job, our work, to keep aligning with this truth.  It is in this way that the dreams will come true, because they are meant to be lived, if we can keep aligning to them. Listening. Flowing. Intuition. All those lively feminine qualities. 

It’s been difficult for me to put this into words so I was delighted when I came across this Forever Conscious posting about Friday’s new moon in Aries, because it helped to validate a little of how I feel.  It is this that has promoted me to write this blog, to share, in case you too have been feeling some shifting and stirrings. https://foreverconscious.com/intuitive-astrology-april-new-moon-2019

There’s certainly something going on and as boring as it gets to be reminded of that famous quote, “be the change you wish to see in the world”, it is true! If we truly do want to find a more aligned and more resourceful and peaceful way to live, then we must be the ones to live it. And if that means surrendering, then so be it.

 Happy new moon and yet more new beginnings!

xx