My Mum tried to point it out to me a few weeks ago but of course I wouldn't listen, well I did listen, but I thought she was talking a load of rubbish, isn't that what everyone does these days, pontificates on blog postings?!
But the thing is, it played on my mind, I just couldn't shake it and so I suppose it really wasn't a coincidence a few days later to find myself lying on a treatment couch with Jo the marvellous osteopath, having my legs 'grounded' when I heard myself saying that it was much easier to be up in my head than down in my legs and Jo laugh and agree, and comment on the trouble being that that often leads to the spiritual ego taking a hold. Spiritual ego, what was that?!
So perhaps it wasn't a coincidence to be talking to the wonderful Dr Deepika, an Ayurvedic doctor in Surrey who I have been seeing on and off for about 10 years now, so that we now have quite a relationship and she is beyond doubt a direct and honest spiritual teach for me. So I posed the question and yes, that's exactly what's going on. My spiritual ego has been in full swing. And I have been in denial.
The thing is I can see it so clearly in others. But it is so difficult to identify in oneself. Although now I come to think about it, the signs were clearly there!
As Dr Deepika so succinctly explained. We 'spiritually orientated bods' can sometimes - completely unconsciously, as in totally unintentionally - get caught up in the spiritual ego so rather than remembering that ALL of us are merely a conduit for the Divine to express itself in the world, we get caught up in ourselves and before we know it we have our heads quite intensely stuck up our bums, our ego expands (but we are spiritual so we are in denial of this) rather than shrinks...we think we have become someone, rather than becoming no one, which is where this is all - ultimately - heading.
As Dr Deepika reminded me:
"Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water"
"Get chopping", she said, Which made me laugh a little because Elijah is always 'chop chopping', well 'cut, cutting' but same thing. He likes to cut cut his home-made play dough with his plastic scissors or, sometimes, use a proper knife to cut cut a pear or apple or something. He is so focused when he does this, it really is his meditation in action as Dr Deepika was insinuating. But more than that, she means get right down into the root, cook, look after the family, do the washing, mop the floor, be present in all that you do. It sounds so easy, but I know it can be so difficult in practice - so much easier to float around on a yoga mat or meditation pillow! And herein the practice.
So with my tail between my legs I humbly identified with the spiritual ego and I though, 'heck I've done it again'. Oh well. Clearly time to get down low and play tractors with Elijah and get chopping some vegetables for a lovely winter soup, oh and drink a large glass of wine!