End of the year ramblings
So here we are, almost at the end of 2014 and here I am sitting on the sofa in a friend's house in Brighton unable to sleep with the excitement of going to Vancouver tomorrow for New Year's Eve.
It is funny how life turns out. The last time I was in Vancouver I was recovering from a bout of adrenal fatigue and depression and Ewan was off travelling around Asia with his friends. I went out to Vancouver to attend a Yoga therapy course with Phoenix Rising, without realising I was actually on the course to heal myself.
It had been a hard core year that one before. I was teaching yoga full time and practicing Reiki and I was working 7 days a week from sunrise to sunset and beyond and I got utterly exhausted . This wasn't helped by the fact that Ewan and I simply couldn't get our relationship together, we both loved one another but commitment was a problem. No surprise really, he was 8 years my senior and used to living life on his own and I was a traveller, always jetting off to Nepal or Australia if I got the chance!
My illness meant I ended up moving in with Ewan about the same time that he was made redundant. This meant we spent the summer gardening - there is a lot to be said about the healing and indeed grounding benefits of getting earth on your hands, it was a healing summer with lots of swimming too. In any event sadly it the redundancy meant that Ewan was keen to go and do all the travelling he had heard me doing - and indeed watched me doing. So despite my heart breaking at being left behind, off he went and with a heavy heart and burnt our adrenals, I went off to Vancouver instead.
I still reminisce about this time in Vancouver, especially more recently with the responsibilities and the hectic nature off being a working Mum. But I was staying out there on my own in an ensuite room in a YCA for one month. The course was 2 weeks during which I would interact with the other course attendees but other that that, for a whole month I spoke to no one else. I didn't drink a drop of alcohol nor socialise once (how boring I know!), instead I went to yoga, I read books and I wrote. My three passions in life. All in my own silence. Bliss!!
By the time I met Ewan in New York on his way home from his trip I felt like a new woman, stronger, lighter and with more skills under my belt. It was all part of the process and we haven't really looked back since, settling down, moving in together and then finally getting around to the concept of children and with that a few years later, Elijah showing up.
What a journey! Here I was planning (or thinking I was planning) and praying for the life I now live and for Ewan, well it just happened! This makes me laugh, the way we can all live our lives so differently, so that I question the way I live mine with all my intentions and burning bowl ceremonies and vision boards because perhaps it is already written....
And here we are, now fulfilling another of my dreams, which is to show Ewan Vancouver and Vancouver Island and introduce my son to one of my closest friends who lives on the Island and who we are visiting and who was one of my first yoga students in Guernsey. Love you Sami!!
A new year ahead of us and with that my 40th too. So planning my new year year's intentions is proving a little challenging as I have all I dreamt and now I need to dream again...of the yoga studio, of the written books, of the trips to visit my friends in Nepal and show them Elijah. Or perhaps I should sit back as Ewan has done and so many others have done and see what happens...and enjoy another Christmas as we have just done and a new year head.
On that note I would like to wish you all a very happy and healthy new year (don't let us underestimate our health) and hope that it is a peaceful, compassionate, forgiving, accepting and fulfilling year for you and the world as a whole.